I tend to be interested in sociology and psychology (although by no means am I professional) and this is just something I've been pondering...
This past weekend I was out at a bar where I often go and I had walked outside for a smoke when I started chatting with a couple of guys. One of them said something that got my attention (I sure wish I remembered what it was!) so I threw out a few key phrases. The other guy standing there heard the beginning of the conversation which was more generalized. He went inside before myself and the first guy, so we chatted a bit more about his burgeoning submission to his wife.
Anyway, the first guy -who was excited to recognize the few key phrases I threw out- is clearly knowledgable about what real life dominance is about. We had a nice conversation and I think we both felt like it was nice to connect with someone else who "gets it".
The second guy was very different. After I went back inside, he was all over me and very aggressive. At one point he pulled me away from the wall I was leaning on and told me I had to kiss him. When I disagreed, he said, "What if I order you to?" and tried to kiss me anyway. He was very aggressive and seemed to think I would respond to this; thinking he was being dominant.
All mixed up role preferences aside, it got me thinking about the difference between dominance and aggression. It's sort of like how our culture tends to confuse masculinity and machismo. So many times, they're quite the opposite.
When I dominate my sub outside of a sexual situation, Ive often be told I was veering on aggressive. And I also worry that at times, I might be a tad too agressive with my sub.
