I am interested in discussing the concept/act of dominating from a distance. Or at least when there is little to no physical interaction. Clearly Akasha is an inspiration but I'm thinking of a more intimate, one on one, situation.
I'm not sure what specifics I'm getting at, but maybe thoughts on if people think it's worth it as well as what makes for a good distance domme.
i can say that Akasha is an excellent role model for this type of thing. and i can also say from experience that submission from a distance can be an extremely powerful emotional experience for the submissive. many submissive males are just not in a position where they can actively accomodate their submissive desires, due to career requirements or personal conditions. but that does not make those desires any less strong. if You have an active desire to learn about feminine domination, i think You should give it a try.
the thing that impresses me is passion! even just a relatively prompt response (i.e. not 3 or 4 days later - if someone has a passion for You it needs to be developed!). and You need to let the submissive know what Your desires are. believe me he NEEDS to accomodate them!
A lot of people don't believe in any kind of "distance training" - it is clearly not for everyone, but it certainly pushes a lot of my buttons.
It is NOT a replacement for "real life" BDSM...I need a healthy dose of that. But what I view it as is great foreplay, a way to stay constantly charged up and excited, and it does amazing stuff for my femdom lust.
I have always been a fan of the power of words. Back when I was in high school, pre-Internet days, I would "make" my boyfriends give me handwritten letters daily. Sometimes I would list questions they had to answer. Sometimes the questions were leading questions, like about bondage, S&M or fear. Sometimes when I read the answers late that night in my bed, I'd find myself turned on. I'd sometimes masturbate when reading the letters if they contained honest descriptions of the boy's desire to be helpless or vulnerable to me. Did this replace the kissing and handholding and other forms of intimacy we shared? No way -- but, it made it so that I ached with need to see him again, and the lust would build.
If a man is a good communicator and he is taught well to please me, his emails or IMs can get me pretty excited. So to that end, 'distance training' can serve the purpose of turning me on and pushing my femdom buttons.
I also am a woman who LOVES visuals. I think I am like a guy that way; I can stare at pictures of men in bondage for days. I used to watch TV shows (pre-TIVO) with the intent to catch the heroes tied up. I still get aroused by this stuff - to this day. In fact, I have a date tonight later with my TIVO with the express intent to go back to last season of TRUE BLOOD and watch the episode toward the last season when SAM was tied up by Maryanne and crew, and gagged, because hot damn, he looked so damn DELICIOUS when he was all helpless & scared...
Point being - I can get off by making a guy create pictures, videos, whatever for me, as proof that he is doing as told, or as blatant stimulation for my fantasies. Use this bondage gear, that toy, get in this position..etc. Nowadays, cams look GREAT. Skype videocam is almost as good as being there. Nothing replaces hot breath against skin, the feeling of his skin against my lips or hair between my fingers...
But good 'distance bdsm" is like foreplay to me. I can take a nice dose of it every single day if my moods are hungry and I can't stop thinking about BDSM. Sometimes I long to just troll the 'net for a brand new boy toy to look at on cam for a few hours, and never talk to him again. Other times I long for more in depth exchanges where a man's words on the screen can be totally revealing to me. If he's a good communicator, it's HOT!
Remember BDSM is a very brain-driven thing. I have met some men who give better "submission" online than a total bump-on-a-log (but physically hot) guy in person!
Akasha
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but I'm thinking of a more intimate, one on one, situation. 