I'm 28 years old and I've never had a girlfriend. For the past year or so, I've been wondering if my submissive fantasies have been warped me and prevented me from becoming a normal person.
my first question would be; do you use drugs and at what age did you start using them?? The main thing that would prevent someone from becoming a "normal person" would be drug abuse due to the fact that they inhibit emotional growth. For instance, if a person became addicted to a drug at age 13, their emotional growth will remain as a 13 year old until they get clean, even though their physical growth keeps going. Pretty difficult for a 12 or 13 year old to talk about things that may interest adult Women. That would be my first question.
Secondly, do Women know about your fantasies?? Because if They don't, then how can you blame them for not being able to date any Women? So what you're saying is that because you masterbate to some fantasy about Women dominating you that somehow They all know and inately stay away from you. That just doesn't make any sense.
Third, how well do you take care of yourself?? Brush your teeth, fix your hair, etc... Do you walk around all hunched over and shy, or do you carry yourself like you own the place that you walk into?? i'm just saying that dating Women really has more to do with how you carry yourself in public, how you talk to Women and can you keep Her in a conversation for more than a few seconds. Most people can talk to others and keep someone in a conversation, that's why i brought up the drugs thing. People who are behind in emotional development have a tough time talking to people who are more emotionally advanced. A kid may want to talk about some new video game and how it's effects match up to older ones and an adult may want to talk about the local school board meeting and how it will affect the next generation of people. For example
Remember that no Woman knows your fantasies, unless you have told them. So you really can't blame what turns you on for not finding a date in 28 years. Maybe you should join Akasha's next training. Lock yourself in chastity, quit satisfying yourself for a few weeks and see if that gives you a little extra incentive to start trying to find out what Women are thinking about instead of what you're thinking about all the time.
i'm not trying to be a dick or nothing, just trying to give you some ideas
-- Edited by satinpantyslave on Tuesday 28th of September 2010 01:47:16 PM
-- Edited by satinpantyslave on Tuesday 28th of September 2010 01:47:35 PM
Well i've been married for over 10 years with a child, been with my Wife for 12 years. We are both college educated professionals, we own two other businesses and a not for profit company Never had too many problems with building a track record from about jr. high on. However, i wasn't trying to portray myself to him as a person with some marvelous track record. Just saying that because he has a few fetishes that does not prevent him from finding a date or a Girlfriend.
What i did do is bring up the types of things that may prevent someone from finding a Girlfriend or prevent someone from fitting into society normally. Other things that may prevent people from fitting into society the way they want to could stem from things such at Autism, these types of examples could go on and on. However, i brought up a common emotional blocker in drugs and alcohol. These may not affect adults as much, but if someone gets hooked on these kinds of things at a young age they could prevent someone from living a semi normal life. Especially if they don't get "unhooked" from them.
All i was trying to say was these are some things that may prevent him from doing the things that he'd like to do. Obviously it bothers him and he'd like to change in a way to where he could find someone to go on a date with. But that is not going to happen unless he gets totally honest with himself and looks at some possible issues. We could all say oh you're okay, and just hang in there you'll find someone; and if he doesn't and becomes depressed or angry then what? Tell him some more lies? i just brought up some things that can be easily identified, and if none of those things fit his situation; then maybe he should go and see a professional such as a Psychologist and be evaluated. There may be some simple things that could turn his life around to the point where he will be happy. he can be happy and still have his fetishes and fantasies.
Never did i say i have all of the answers, i just brought up some possibilities. i also never said i was some don juan, i've lived a more than normal life and i've had submissive fantasies since i was 11 or 12. None of these things have ever gotten in the way of me living a normal vanilla life outside of my fantasies. So i don't think it would be appropriate to let him continue to think that because he has certain fantasies he is not able to live a normal life, such as sharing some time with a Girlfriend
Believe me, i'm not trying to start an argument with You either, i'm just trying to clarify what i was trying to say in the first place.
Thank You so much for listening
-- Edited by satinpantyslave on Saturday 2nd of October 2010 01:19:36 AM
Satin: I've smoked weed a few times. I go out and drink at the bars every once in a while. Save those instances and taking medicine, I don't take drugs nor have I taken them in the past.
I would like to think my childhood was relatively normal. I mean I've had my share of punishments and spankings, but I didn't sexually abused or touched in a strange way.
I can't say that women know about my fantasies, but then I'd have to say I encounter very few if any women during the course of my regular work day.
I'm not a major stud or anything but I do take care of myself. I take time to think about what I'm going to wear and not be slovenly about it. I brush my teeth. I use deodorant and I use cologne.
I'm sure there are a ton of other things I could do. Anyways, thanks for replying to my post.
Do you have guy friends you hang out with in social places where women frequent, in a casual, but not "hook up" type scene? What does your best male friend say about dating? Does he have a girlfriend?
Network - socialize - flirt. Whatever you do, don't do nothing!
Akasha
__________________
Akasha's Web All original femdom erotica & relationship help since 1995
Most of my friends, when we hang out, we stay in and play watch movies or play video games. My best friend doesn't has never had a girlfriend either, and is less social than I am.
We try to go out sometimes, but it just feels like we've been living under a rock for all these years. Not only is mentally hard for me to interact with other people face to face, the actual physical act of doing so makes me weak. Like my heart jumps up into my mouth, my face flushes, and I need to take deeper breaths.
-- Edited by Dorkmaster82 on Wednesday 3rd of November 2010 11:26:20 PM
There are quite a few Women gamers.. When i first moved into my new house i didn't have any internet hookup right away and could not access my email. i went to a place called net frags and used thier computers for internet access. This place was a place for gamers to play against each other head to head. i would try and find a place like that and start talking some crap and get to know the regulars there. Then befriend some of the Girls there and start striking up conversations. you'll find that those Girls will be interested in what you know about video games and such. Maybe They'll hook up with you or maybe They'll hook you up with Their friends. But like Akasha said, get out and about and meet people. They're not going to show up to your house to play video games.
Just an idea
-- Edited by satinpantyslave on Thursday 4th of November 2010 08:47:35 AM
Approaching people can be nerve wracking. But if you put your self out there, and face that fear, it will burn at first, but youll get that confidence. Just always ask yourself, what the worst that can happen.
Remind us what your track record is like?
